


Graveyard Shift

by MinerL2020



Series: SquarePants and Friendship [2]
Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon)
Genre: Crossover, Funny, Scary, The Krusty Krab
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:02:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27745672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MinerL2020/pseuds/MinerL2020
Summary: It's closing time at the Krusty Krab, until more customers show up. Mr. Krabs decides to open the restraunt for 24 hours, much to the joy of SpongeBob, and the chagrin of Rainbow Dash. But after seeing SpongeBob is afraid, Rainbow decides to tell him a story about the past of the Krusty Krab. But when midnight passes, the two realize that the story may not be so fake after all. Will they survive this living nightmare?
Series: SquarePants and Friendship [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2029624





	Graveyard Shift

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing is mine.

We see a shot of the Krusty Krab. ‘Ah, the Krusty Krab,’ said the French Narrator, ‘the premier daytime eatery of the Bikini Bottom-Ponyville area. Where it will be closing time right about…’

“Now!” said Rainbow Dash, flipping the ‘open’ sign to read ‘closed’. Due to the cost of maintaining her home increasing because of the convergence, she had gotten a job at the Krusty Krab, covering for Squidward, who had gotten a new, better paying part-time job at a music store. “8:00!” she declared, tossing off her uniform, a baseball cap with a white base, black bill, and blue anchor on the front. “So long suckers! I can’t wait to bury my muzzle into that new Daring Do book!”

Then Noteworthy walked up to the doors, and knocked. “What?” asked an annoyed Rainbow.

“Are you open?” Noteworthy asked.

Rainbow Dash pointed to the ‘closed’ sign. “Read the sign.”

Instead, Noteworthy glanced at the menu. “I’ll have a Krabby Patty Deluxe, and a double chili kelp fry.”

“No you won’t!” Rainbow said, irritated. “I can’t hang out here all night! I’ve got a _life.”_

Noteworthy shook his hoof. “Well, _fine,_ if you don’t want my money!”

Then a familiar voice said, _“Money?!”_ A whistling sound came from above Rainbow, who quickly jumped out of the way as Mr. Krabs fell from the ceiling and landed where she had just been standing. “You mean if we stayed open later, you’d give us your money?”

“Sure!” Noteworthy said, pulling out some cash. Behind him, Sadie, Carrot Top, and an anchovy also pulled out some cash.

“Well, Miss Rainbow,” Mr. Krabs began, grabbing the ‘closed’ sign, and tearing it in half, before dropping it, “welcome to the night shift.” He pulled out Rainbow’s Krusty Kap, and set it on her head, the bill falling into her face. “From now on, the Krusty Krab is open 24 hours a day.”

 _“What?!”_ Rainbow Dash asked, pushing her cap into its proper position. A crowd of fish and ponies charged through the door, forcing the pegasus to fly into the air to avoid being trampled. Spongebob walked up to them.

“Wow! Now we never have to stop working!” the optimistic sponge said.

Rainbow landed on the ground. “Mr. Krabs…” she began.

“See you in the morning, Krusty Krew!” Mr. Krabs said. “I can’t hang out here all night!” He walked out the door. “I’ve got a _life!”_

“But Mr. Krabs!” Rainbow protested, but he was already gone.

“Isn’t this great, Rainbow?” Spongebob asked, excitedly. Rainbow just looked annoyed. “Just you and me together for hours and hours and hours and then the sun will come up, and then it’ll be tomorrow, and we’ll _still_ be working!” He gasped. “It’ll be just like a sleepover! Only we’ll be sweaty and covered in grease!” He jumped away, as Rainbow slumped.

Spongebob landed on top of the register boat, turned around, and pointed. “Are you ready to _rock_ , Rainbow?!”

Rainbow just walked into the boat. _“No,”_ she said, flatly.

 _“Good!_ ‘Cause we’ve got customers!” Spongebob lept backwards into the ordering window.

Sandals walked up to the boat as Rainbow reached under the counter, and pulled out a baseball bat. “Here,” she said, giving it to Sandals. “Please hit me as hard as you can.”

“Psst!” Spongebob whispered through the window, causing her to wince. “Rainbow! I’m working in the kitchen.” He giggled. “At night!”

Rainbow took her cap off, and laid her head on the counter. “Don’t hold back,” she said, pointing at the side of her head.

“Hey, Rainbow!” Spongebob called, standing before a head of lettuce, holding his spatula. “Guess what! I’m chopping lettuce!” he cut it into pieces with his spatula. “At night!”

Spongebob scrubbed the bathroom using his body. “Look at me I’m swabbing the bathroom!” He slid into one of the stalls, and the door of the one next to it opened, with the sponge on it. “At night!” he said, as the bathroom gleamed.

In the kitchen, Spongebob tried to grab his spatula from the grill. “Ahhh!” he yelped, grabbing his wrist. “I burned my hand!” He then made a gun point with the burnt hand. “At night.” The hand hissed, steamed, and turned red.

At the cashier boat, Spongebob was walking around on the edge, Rainbow scowling with her forelegs crossed. “Night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, na-na-na-na-na-night! _Night!”_

 _“Will you please?!”_ Rainbow demanded. She reached under the counter and pulled up a full garbage bag. _“Here!_ ” she said, holding it out to the sponge. “Give me a moment’s peace, and take out the trash!”

“All right!” Spongebob grabbed the bag, before heading to the doors. “Taking out the trash, taking out the trash, taking out the trash at _ni-!”_ he stopped short of opening the doors. He looked outside, noticing how far away the dumpster was.

“You mean outside?”

“That’s where the dumpster is, _yes.”_

“I don’t know, Rainbow,” Spongebob said, pressing his face against the glass. “It’s kinda dark out there.”

Rainbow couldn’t help but look sly. “But I thought you _liked_ the night shift.”

Spongebob’s expression turned determined. “You’re right!” he declared, before turning and lifting the bag above his head, saying, _“For the Krusty Krab!”_ He ran out the door…

And started screaming and panicking all the way to the dumpster. He tossed the bag into the dumpster, and ran all the way back, slamming the door, leaning against the frame breathing so heavily he inflated and deflated. When he had his breathing back to normal, he regained composure, snapped his fingers, and confidently said, “Piece of cake.”

“So you’re not afraid?” Rainbow asked, smugly.

“Pfft, nah!” Spongebob said, walking by the boat.

“Well _I_ am!” Rainbow said. “Especially after…” She looked around, and gulped. “You know…”

Spongebob froze, and turned around without moving a muscle. “What? What do I know?”

“You don’t remember? It was all over the news!”

“Tell me, tell me!”

“No, no, no, I probably shouldn’t.” Rainbow looked away innocently, pressing her hooves together. “It would ruin the night shift for you.” She smirked, eyes traveling to Spongebob.

 _“What happened, what happened, what happened?”_ the sponge asked, bouncing excitedly.

“You mean you’ve never heard the story of the…” she paused to think. “The ‘ _Hash-Slinging Slasher’_?”

Spongebob stopped bouncing, and asked, “The Slash-Bringing Hasher?”

 _“The Hash-Slinging Slasher!”_ Rainbow said, glaring with bloodshot eyes.

“The Sash-Ringing, the Trash-Singing, Mash-Flinging…” Rainbow Dash lost the glare, and just looked bored. “The Flash-Springing, Ringing, The Cr-Crash-Dinging, daa.”

“Yes,” Rainbow said, flatly. “The Hash-Slinging Slasher. _But!”_ She continued. “Most po- er, _people_ call him the Ha-” she suddenly screamed. “Because that’s all they have time to say, before he _gets them!”_

 _“Tell me the story!”_ Spongebob yelped, pulling on two of his pores.

“Years ago!” Rainbow began, spreading her hooves in front and behind her. “At this very restaurant, the Hash-Slinging Slasher used to be a fry cook!” She pointed at Spongebob. “Just. Like. You. Only _clumsier!”_ Spongebob’s eyes shrunk. “And then, one night, when he was cutting the patties…” She hit her left hoof with her right to visualize. “It happened.”

“He forgot the secret sauce?” Spongebob asked.

“No,” Rainbow said.

“He didn’t wash his hands?”

“No!”

“Irregular portions?”

 _“No!”_ she shouted. “He cut off his own hand by mistake!” She made a cutting motion with her right hoof onto her left one.

“You mean like this?” Spongebob asked, pulling his left arm off of its socket, a new one instantly growing in its place. Rainbow Dash looked surprised. “Or like this?” he asked, pulling his right one out of its socket. “Or this?” he pulled another arm. “Or this?” again. Rainbow glared. “But what about this? Or this, or this, or this, or-”

“Except he wasn’t a sponge!” Rainbow interrupted.

Spongebob, surrounded by his arms in an arc, asked, “So?”

 _“So it didn’t grow back!”_ she shouted, waving her hooves in the air.

 _ **“OH NO!”**_ screamed Spongebob, arms falling out of the arch, and threw their hands in the air, before turning and getting the heck out of dodge.

“And he replaced his hand with a rusty spatula,” Rainbow said, holding a spatula up. “And then, he got hit by a bus! And at his funeral, they fired him! So now every- what day is it?”

“Tuesday,” Spongebob said.

“Tuesday night!” Rainbow continued, waving her hooves. “His ghost returns to the Krusty Krab, to wreak his horrible vengeance.”

Spongebob gasped. “But tonight’s Tuesday night!”

“Then he’ll be coming,” Rainbow said, eyes narrowed, looking around.

“How will we know?”

“There are three signs,” Rainbow lifted both her forehooves, and one back hoof, “that signal the approach of the Hash-Slinging Slasher. First, the lights will flicker on and off,” She made a flicking motion. “Next-”

Harold walked up. “Can I have some ketchup?” he asked.

“Oh, sure.” Rainbow handed him a packet. “Here you go.”

“Thanks,” Harold said, before walking away.

“Next, the phone will ring,” Rainbow said, gesturing to the telephone, “And there will be no one there!” Spongebob started chewing on his fingernails. “And finally, the Hash-Slinging Slasher arrives in the ghost of the bus that ran him over!”

Spongebob began to accidentally eat his arms, new ones grew back, and he ate those too.

“Then he exits the bus and crosses the street without looking both ways, because he’s already _dead!”_

Spongebob started eating his arms like popcorn.

“Then he taps on the window with his grizzly spatula hand,” Rainbow said, making a tapping motion with her hoof.

 _“No,”_ Spongebob said, pulling on the sides of his mouth.

“He opens the door.” She pushed her hoof forward, making a creaking noise. Spongebob moved to the side making him look like a door being opened. Rainbow pulled her hoof back, and started leaning towards Spongebob, whose face sunk into himself. “He slowly approaches the _counter!”_ The last word echoed ominously. Spongebob’s eyes peeked out, and looked around nervously.

“...And you know what he does next?” Rainbow asked, evilly.

“What?” Spongebob asked.

“You really want to know?”

“What?”

“Are you _sure_ you want to know?”

_“What, what, what does he do?!”_

Rainbow snuck up on Spongebob, and tapped him. _“He gets ya!”_ Spongebob screamed repeatedly. Rainbow, back behind the register, burst out laughing for nearly 20 seconds. When she stopped, she noticed Spongebob was still screaming. “Spongebob…” she began. Spongebob kept screaming. “Spongebob, I wa-” Spongebob continued screaming. “I was ju-” Spongebob’s pupils started screaming. “I was jus-” Spongebob screamed. Finally, Rainbow had enough. _“Spongebob, I was joking!”_ she yelled, causing the sponge to stop screaming.

“What?” he asked.

“It’s not true! None of it’s true!”

“It’s not?”

“Of _course_ not. Nobody has a spatula for a hand. It was all a joke.”

“Ohhhhh,” Spongebob said. Then he started laughing. Rainbow groaned, and buried her face in her hooves.

* * *

Later that night, we see the outside, owls hooting. Inside a coral tree, a pair of orange eyes blinked. We see the Krusty Krab, with a flickering green and magenta sign, that read ‘OPEN FOREVER’. Inside, the restaurant was dark, the only light around the cashier boat, where Rainbow was boredly reading, her head resting on her hoof.

Then a strange noise was heard. Rainbow glanced around, before returning to her book. The noise was heard again, and she startled, before starting to read again. Then the noise came again, and she looked around, before turning back to her book, looking nervous. The noise came back. She examined the surrounding area, confused where it was coming from. We zoom out, and it turns out Spongebob was wearing suction cups, using them to mop the ceiling of the restaurant. Then he somehow managed to appear next to Rainbow.

“Isn’t this great, Rainbow?” he asked, causing her to yelp. “There’s never time to wash the ceiling during the day!” He went back up.

Rainbow growled. “Grrr! Open 24 hours a day, what a stupid idea! Who wants a Krabby Patty at three in the morning?”

We cut to a sleeping Pinkie Pie’s room, where an alarm rang. She woke up, and shut it off. “Oh boy! Three AM!” She lifted her covers to reveal a Krabby Patty, which she promptly took a bite out of.

Back at the Krusty Krab. “Just look at this place!” Rainbow said, gesturing to the empty Krusty Krab. “It’s like a ghost town in here!” She crossed her forelimbs. Then the lights started flickering. She looked up at the ceiling. “Very funny, Spongebob!” She said sarcastically, eyes flicking in the Sponge’s direction.

Spongebob, who had just gotten back on the ground, asked, “What?”

“‘And the lights will flicker, on and off,’” Rainbow echoed, making a flicking motion with her hooves. “Just like the story. I get it.” Spongebob looked confused. Rainbow realized he was still standing near the wall. She glanced at the light switch, which was stock still, despite the lights flickering. She looked at the reader, with eyes wide.

“Hey Rainbow, how are you doing that without moving the switch?” Spongebob asked.

Rainbow looked at Spongebob. “I’m not doing it. It must be the stupid faulty wiring in here.” She shook her hoof. “This place isn’t built to run 24 hours a day!” Then the phone rang. She picked up the receiver. “What, what?” She spoke into it. No answer. “Hello? Hello?”

Spongebob walked up to the boat. “Nice try, Rainbow!” he said.

“‘Nice try’, what?”

“‘The phone will ring, and there will be no one there’!” Rainbow looked at the receiver, while Spongebob raised his eyebrows a few times. “Oh, you crack me up.” He walked away.

“Spongebob, I’m not doing this!” Rainbow hung up the phone. “Okay, okay, calm down. All right, what was it? There was; the lights,” the lights flickered, “and the phone,” the phone rang. She looked at the walls, which were oozing green liquid. “And the walls will ooze green slime!” Then she calmed down, remembering. “Oh yeah, they always do that. But what was that third thing?” Then the sound of a motor came. She looked out the door, where fog was gathering. A bus pulled up to the doors.

Rainbow Dash’s pupils and irises shrank to pinpricks, mouth set in a flat line. Spongebob walked up to the boat. “I didn’t know the buses ran this late!” he noted.

“They _don’t!”_

“Well, they’re dropping someone off,” Spongebob said, as the bus pulled away, revealing a shadowy figure…

Who lifted its left arm, revealing a spatula in place of its hand.

Rainbow Dash let out an uncharacteristically high pitched shriek, hair sticking straight up.

“The Sash-Ringing! Th-the Flash-Singing! The Bash-P-pinging!” she blathered, terrified.

“The Hash-Slinging Slasher!” Spongebob said, pupils growing wide. He started crying.

“Now you finally understand!” Rainbow said. “We’re doomed!”

“No,” Spongebob said, wiping his eyes. “That’s not it. I am just so touched that you would go through the trouble to dress up as a ghostly fry cook and stand on the other side of the street, just to entertain me!” He gestured to the figure on the other side of the road. “You must really like me!”

Rainbow looked at the figure, who had started crossing the street _without looking both ways._

“Spongebob, there’s a big, big problem with your theory,” she said, as the figure got closer to the door. “How can that be me, when I’m standing _right here!?”_

The being tapped on the door with the spatula. Spongebob screamed, causing his eyelashes to grow incredibly long, and start wiggling.

 _ **“THE HASH-SLINGING SLASHER!”**_ Spongebob and Rainbow Dash yelled.

The figure pushed open the door with the spatula, the two friends clinging to each other. Rainbow screamed and blabbered incoherently, while Spongebob said, _“NO! GET AWAY! HE’S GOING TO FLIP ME! GET AWAY!”_

Rainbow found enough sense to say to the sponge, “Spongebob, no matter what I’ve said, you’ve always been one of my best friends!”

“Rainbow, I used one of your Wonderbolts posters to start a bonfire!”

Rainbow looked at him in confusion. “What?” she asked. Then they looked at the approaching figure, and started screaming again.

 _“GET AWAY, GET AWAY!”_ Spongebob screamed. _“YOU’RE NOT WELCOME HERE!”_

The figure stepped into the light…

And revealed he was just a geeky looking, hippopotamus-like fish.

The two noticed, and stopped screaming. _“HUH?”_ asked the confused Rainbow.

“Can I get a job application?” the guy in front of the counter asked, as Spongebob and Rainbow let go of each other. “I brought my own spatula.” His sleeve fell away to reveal he was just holding the spatula with his _real_ hand. “I called here earlier, but I hung up ‘cause I was nervous.”

Perched on the left edge of the counter, Spongebob asked, “Do you have references?” before jumping onto the ground.

“Hold on a minute,” Rainbow began. “If that was you on the phone,” she pointed to the phone, “and you on the bus,” she pointed to the street, “then who was flickering the lights?”

Then the lights started flickering again. The three turned, and saw a familiar figure flicking an oversized light switch.

“Nosferatu!” they said, with playful sternness.

Nosferatu just smiled mischievously, and flickered the lights again.


End file.
